No stars
So unfortunately, a studio executive got his sexually confused eighteen-year-old nephew to write the screenplay for The Boondock Saints II. The nephew saw the original Boondock Saints when he was twelve and then tried to imitate it from memory while throwing in penis jokes every three minutes. I think he was allowed to pick the soundtrack, too.
The dialogue is painful, riddled with clichés and bad accents. Norman Reedus (Murphey MacManus) and Sean Patrick Flanery (Connor MacManus) try hard, but it’s obvious they know the writing sucks. The dream sequences, flashbacks, the William Dafoe replacement (Julie Benz) and Clifton Collins Jr. (Romeo) were delegated the worst of the dialogue. Many of the plot points simply make no sense (like the conversation between the MacManus brothers and the dead Funny Man) and the rest is predictable.
The Romeo character is a caricature of Mexican-Americans. At least in The Boondock Saints the stereotyping of Irishmen and Italians was done in a way that the Irish and Italians could laugh at.
The worst part is they left it open for a third installment.
At least another cat didn’t die.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
The Losers (2010)
4.5/5 stars
Watching the previews, The Losers looked like it was a dress rehearsal for The A-Team remake. Surprisingly, this movie stands up well. The dialogue is funny, snappy and nicely offsets the action scenes, which are also awesome (“Your mom is a pirate”).
The unexpected plot twists build to an uncertain but inevitable ending. Each character is well developed and unique. While it’s not really explained how Max is connected to the CIA or why he’s trying to start a war using “green” nuclear bombs, it’s easy to suspend belief for the sake of watching Clay (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) throw a helicopter at a private jet full of money.
There’s an obvious sequel in the future, but for once I’m not that worried about it.
Watching the previews, The Losers looked like it was a dress rehearsal for The A-Team remake. Surprisingly, this movie stands up well. The dialogue is funny, snappy and nicely offsets the action scenes, which are also awesome (“Your mom is a pirate”).
The unexpected plot twists build to an uncertain but inevitable ending. Each character is well developed and unique. While it’s not really explained how Max is connected to the CIA or why he’s trying to start a war using “green” nuclear bombs, it’s easy to suspend belief for the sake of watching Clay (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) throw a helicopter at a private jet full of money.
There’s an obvious sequel in the future, but for once I’m not that worried about it.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Precious (2009)
No stars
Precious takes every stereotype of the ghetto, wraps it up in an ill-fitting soundtrack, and ties it up with awful dialogue. This is a cheap Tony Morrison imitation that comes off as shallow and racist. Gabourey Sidibe (Precious) is a good actress, but she could be the female Morgan Freeman and she still wouldn’t be able to pull off this story.
Precious takes every stereotype of the ghetto, wraps it up in an ill-fitting soundtrack, and ties it up with awful dialogue. This is a cheap Tony Morrison imitation that comes off as shallow and racist. Gabourey Sidibe (Precious) is a good actress, but she could be the female Morgan Freeman and she still wouldn’t be able to pull off this story.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Boondock Saints (1999)
4.5/5
As a fellow Mic, let me say all Irishmen are cracked. That might be true of the Italians, too. The dialogue makes this film great (yes, more than throwing the toilet at the angry Russian). And no one should miss William Dafoe in drag.
This is another film that explores the Robin Hood role to its logical conclusion, hilariously. Vigilantism fuels an adrenaline rush until you’re on the receiving end of the bullet. The Macmanus brothers are the original real-life superheroes.
Did the cat have to die?
As a fellow Mic, let me say all Irishmen are cracked. That might be true of the Italians, too. The dialogue makes this film great (yes, more than throwing the toilet at the angry Russian). And no one should miss William Dafoe in drag.
This is another film that explores the Robin Hood role to its logical conclusion, hilariously. Vigilantism fuels an adrenaline rush until you’re on the receiving end of the bullet. The Macmanus brothers are the original real-life superheroes.
Did the cat have to die?
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Kick-Ass (2010)
4/5 stars
Matthew Vaughn and Quentin Tarantino need to have coffee. While not quite Pulp Fiction (1994) status effed up, Kick-Ass is definitely on the same levels of violence and intelligence. Vaughn takes the idea of the average person becoming a super hero to its logical conclusion: anyone rich enough, trained to be dangerous, and with the inclination is most likely emotionally disturbed. While there is a definite bad guy (after all, the he does beat up an 11-year-old girl, granted to was beating him up first), the line between villain and vigilante disappears.
The brutality—truly on the Kill Bill level—is unsettling because it is so unexpected. We rarely associate earnest naïveté with knifings and hit-and-runs, but that’s what the goofy and lovable Kick-Ass (Aaron Johnson) faces after exiting his high school outfitted with metal detectors and security guards. His wetsuit and good intentions lead him to numerous ass-kickings (every single one bloody and involving a cheap shot to the crotch). They also get him involved with two superheroes, Big Daddy (Nicholas Cage) and Hit Girl (Chloe Moretz), who would be serial killers in any other context.
Of course the ending leaves the possibility for a sequel, but the bazooka will catch you off guard every time.
Matthew Vaughn and Quentin Tarantino need to have coffee. While not quite Pulp Fiction (1994) status effed up, Kick-Ass is definitely on the same levels of violence and intelligence. Vaughn takes the idea of the average person becoming a super hero to its logical conclusion: anyone rich enough, trained to be dangerous, and with the inclination is most likely emotionally disturbed. While there is a definite bad guy (after all, the he does beat up an 11-year-old girl, granted to was beating him up first), the line between villain and vigilante disappears.
The brutality—truly on the Kill Bill level—is unsettling because it is so unexpected. We rarely associate earnest naïveté with knifings and hit-and-runs, but that’s what the goofy and lovable Kick-Ass (Aaron Johnson) faces after exiting his high school outfitted with metal detectors and security guards. His wetsuit and good intentions lead him to numerous ass-kickings (every single one bloody and involving a cheap shot to the crotch). They also get him involved with two superheroes, Big Daddy (Nicholas Cage) and Hit Girl (Chloe Moretz), who would be serial killers in any other context.
Of course the ending leaves the possibility for a sequel, but the bazooka will catch you off guard every time.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
The Onion (2008)
No stars.
A shallow satire with clumsy jokes and predictable criticisms. The dialogue relies on puns and goes for all the cheap shots with no original, or clever, insights. While the film is trying to emphasize the ridiculous nature of consumerism, it’s far less entertaining than the actual Onion news site. This film relies on overdone, sarcastic dialogue aware of its own ludicrousness, and as a result comes off snarky and hypercritical. South Park, the Simpsons and Adult Swim all use this kind of humor in a way that’s actually funny and original.
A shallow satire with clumsy jokes and predictable criticisms. The dialogue relies on puns and goes for all the cheap shots with no original, or clever, insights. While the film is trying to emphasize the ridiculous nature of consumerism, it’s far less entertaining than the actual Onion news site. This film relies on overdone, sarcastic dialogue aware of its own ludicrousness, and as a result comes off snarky and hypercritical. South Park, the Simpsons and Adult Swim all use this kind of humor in a way that’s actually funny and original.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Brideshead Revisited (2008)
4/5 stars
You're only going to enjoy this movie if you're a fan of dry English films in which superb acting makes up for lack of explosions and general excitement. It's a brilliantly strange film that is perfectly cast. Slightly predictable in the beginning when it comes to the development of the relationships, but the acting more than makes up for it. This is Matthew Goode's (Watchmen)first headlining film, and he's definitely earned it. Emma Thompson (Nanny McPhee)is one of the best British actresses alive today.
Viewers be warned, this film is hypercritical of the Roman Catholic Church. It explores the types of families (not necessarily Church officials) that cause so-called Catholic guilt to persevere into an evermore secular world. There's an odd tenderness toward the Italians. In one scene, the Italian mistress says she is not a Catholic like the English: "We do what the heart tells us then we go to Confession." It's an oddly tender moment that gives room for a certain type of dogma.
You're only going to enjoy this movie if you're a fan of dry English films in which superb acting makes up for lack of explosions and general excitement. It's a brilliantly strange film that is perfectly cast. Slightly predictable in the beginning when it comes to the development of the relationships, but the acting more than makes up for it. This is Matthew Goode's (Watchmen)first headlining film, and he's definitely earned it. Emma Thompson (Nanny McPhee)is one of the best British actresses alive today.
Viewers be warned, this film is hypercritical of the Roman Catholic Church. It explores the types of families (not necessarily Church officials) that cause so-called Catholic guilt to persevere into an evermore secular world. There's an odd tenderness toward the Italians. In one scene, the Italian mistress says she is not a Catholic like the English: "We do what the heart tells us then we go to Confession." It's an oddly tender moment that gives room for a certain type of dogma.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Jackie Brown (1997)
4.5/5 stars
The lesser-known triplet in Tarantino’s trio of all-time classics. While Jackie Brown isn’t quite as gory or even violent, the plot is still twisted enough to be impossible to entirely grasp the first time through, just like the two sister films Reservoir Dogs (1992) and Pulp Fiction (1994). It takes some time to get used to how odd everyone looks, between Samuel L. Jackson’s braided goatee, Pam Grier’s mysterious charm and Michael Keaton’s very tight white shirts, the film is a character study alone.
The opening sequence bears an odd resemblance to the opening credits of The Graduate (1967) with the profile shot of the main character in an airport. Both films have strong visual motifs and striking shots. Though there is definitely more violence in Jackie Brown (it’s Tarantino after all), both lead characters are near death, for Jackie Brown physical death and for Ben emotional death.
Jackie Brown is Tarantino’s most publically palatable creation, other than the episode of ER he directed back in 1995.
The lesser-known triplet in Tarantino’s trio of all-time classics. While Jackie Brown isn’t quite as gory or even violent, the plot is still twisted enough to be impossible to entirely grasp the first time through, just like the two sister films Reservoir Dogs (1992) and Pulp Fiction (1994). It takes some time to get used to how odd everyone looks, between Samuel L. Jackson’s braided goatee, Pam Grier’s mysterious charm and Michael Keaton’s very tight white shirts, the film is a character study alone.
The opening sequence bears an odd resemblance to the opening credits of The Graduate (1967) with the profile shot of the main character in an airport. Both films have strong visual motifs and striking shots. Though there is definitely more violence in Jackie Brown (it’s Tarantino after all), both lead characters are near death, for Jackie Brown physical death and for Ben emotional death.
Jackie Brown is Tarantino’s most publically palatable creation, other than the episode of ER he directed back in 1995.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Clash of the Titans (2010)
3/5 stars
This is an action movie for the prepubescent (and men), full of monsters, swords and pretty girls. The monsters and costumes echo those in The Lord of the Rings (2001, 2002, 2003), but that's where the parallel's end-- except that Hades does resemble the Balrog when he's flying around in his smoky flame bubble. It's impressive that Louis Leterrier (director) was able to make an action movie that's entertaining the entire two hours without any gore or sex, but The Lord of the Rings still beats it.
Anyone with even a slight attachment to mythology should probably not spend money to see this Greek myth burrito; the film is all the famous Greek myths wrapped into one. Other than the names, the movie completely breaks away from the old stories, most grossly with the use of the kraken, a monster from Scandinavian mythology, not Greek. I'm not sure if it's completely narcissistic, but I've never seen a film leave an opening for a sequel to Greek mythology.
This is an action movie for the prepubescent (and men), full of monsters, swords and pretty girls. The monsters and costumes echo those in The Lord of the Rings (2001, 2002, 2003), but that's where the parallel's end-- except that Hades does resemble the Balrog when he's flying around in his smoky flame bubble. It's impressive that Louis Leterrier (director) was able to make an action movie that's entertaining the entire two hours without any gore or sex, but The Lord of the Rings still beats it.
Anyone with even a slight attachment to mythology should probably not spend money to see this Greek myth burrito; the film is all the famous Greek myths wrapped into one. Other than the names, the movie completely breaks away from the old stories, most grossly with the use of the kraken, a monster from Scandinavian mythology, not Greek. I'm not sure if it's completely narcissistic, but I've never seen a film leave an opening for a sequel to Greek mythology.
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